The Birds and The Bees
by CardCaptor Schlueter
Summary: Nadia: Secret of Blue Water Electra's pregnancy causes great confusion for Nadia and Jean, who start asking questions and get answers they really don't like. NadiaJean


_**The Birds and The Bees**_

_A Nadia: Secret of Blue Water Fanfic By CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)_

_-----_

_Nadia: Secret of Blue Water is the property of Hideaki Anno and GAINAX. I tried to steal it, but they caught me on the way out._

_This fic is set just after the end of the series. Spoilers ensue._

_-----_

Everything seemed well with the world. Gargoyle was history, Neo Atlantis had been defeated, the world was saved and everyone had gotten home. It was all going so well...

Until Electra started puking.

Having recovered the remaining personnel left behind before the raid on Red Noah, everything had been fairly peaceful for the last couple of days while the remaining command crew tried to decide what to do with the Nautilus III they had used to get home.

Nadia and Jean were on their way to the Mess Hall for breakfast that morning when Electra suddenly sprinted past them and into the nearest rest room, one hand clutched over her mouth.

Jean had been about to greet her when the door slammed shut. From behind the door, they heard something strange.

"HUAAAARGHHHhhhhh..."

Jean and Nadia stared at the door... Then at each other... Then back at the door again.

"What was that?" Nadia asked.

"I think Miss Electra is ill," said Jean.

Nadia looked at him and blinked. She briefly wondered if Grandis' cooking had something to do with this. "Maybe we should skip breakfast." she finally said.

"No, no. It's nothing like that," a familiar cheery voice interrupted. Jean and Nadia turned their attention to see Marie looking up at them. "Miss Electra isn't feeling well 'cause she's gonna have a baby."

Nadia and Jean responded by staring blankly at her for a few seconds... then at each other and then back at Marie.

Marie gave a world weary sigh that seemed inappropriate for someone her age. She knew those expressions well. This was clearly a topic that was well over the heads of her adoptive guardians. She was always amazed by how skilled and smart they were most of the time only to be completely clueless about anything that involved personal relationships.

"How do you know that?" asked Nadia.

"Miss Grandis told me," Marie replied. Truth be told, Marie didn't understand why being pregnant would cause you to get sick, but Grandis had refused to explain. She had originally gone looking for Jean and Nadia hoping one of them would have the answer, but it was obvious she wasn't going to get it. She wandered off leaving her perplexed guardians lost in thought.

Nadia was busy pondering her knowledge of animals since they were her only source of knowledge concerning mating or child-bearing of any kind. She wasn't particularly clear on the mechanics of it all, but she was pretty sure she'd remember hearing about pregnancy causing vomiting. Obviously, Grandis had to be wrong though, after all who could Electra have "mated" with in the first place...

Unless...

Nadia suddenly shuddered involuntarily.

She had no idea what had been involved but the thought of Electra and her father doing anything that would--

"Nadia?"

Nadia blinked and turned her attention to Jean.

"Nadia, are you all right?" he asked. "Your face was twitching ."

Nadia gave a nervous laugh. "No, no. I'm fine. Heh, heh..." She quickly recovered. "Ne, Jean, do you know how Miss Electra might have gotten... Umm... you know..." A slight blush crept across her cheeks.

Jean paused to think, his head lowered in a classic thinking pose. As a self-proclaimed man of science, he believed there was a scientific answer, but human biology wasn't his strong point and babies and pregnancy were waaaay out of his studies. He knew that it involved a man and a woman but beyond that...

He wondered if it had anything to do with the thoughts he occasionally had about Nadia. Ever since he had first seen her in Paris he would sometimes have... urges... to just stare at her and the less she was wearing the greater the urge was. It was almost like there was an invisible force that made him want to try and sneak a peek at her in the shower or when she was changing. Nadia's body was endlessly fascinating to him, almost as if looking at her would help him decode the messages from his hormones.

"Jean?"

Jean snapped out of his thoughts only to realize he was staring at Nadia's cleavage and exposed navel. He quickly returned his eyes to her face, hoping she hadn't caught him staring... again.

"Ah..." Jean began, his face turning scarlet. "I'm afraid I'm not sure either. All I know is that involves a man and a woman and... kissing, I guess." That sounded right, couples kissed all the time. That had to be a part of it, right?

Nadia, seeming to have overlooked Jean's wandering eyes, thought about that. After a moment she nodded thoughtfully. Yes, that seemed to make sense. After all-- Wait...

Nadia's eyes widened to the size of saucers. She quickly grabbed Jean by his shirt. "Jean!!" she cried out in panic. "Does that mean I could be pregnant too?!"

Now Jean's eyes widened in response his face going pale. "W-what?!"

"Think about it!" Nadia replied. "We've kissed! Hell, we were kissing just this morning!!"

Jean's mouth moved soundlessly for a moment.

"Ahhhh!!" Nadia sobbed as she hugged Jean in a death grip. "What're we going to do, Jean?! We're too young to be parents!!"

Jean, meanwhile, was trying to restrain his own panic. "Now, wait a second, Nadia!" he began. "I mean, we don't _know_ you're pregnant. You haven't been sick like Miss Electra, right?"

Nadia paused and thought carefully. She had felt kind of nauseous at the idea of Electra and her father a moment ago, but other than that she had been fine.

"No... No, I haven't," she said quietly.

Jean smiled. "Well, there. If you were you'd be feeling sick too." He paused. "Although, maybe we should talk to someone who would know for sure."

"Like who?" Nadia asked. "Not Grandis, I hope."

"No, I was thinking of the ship's doctor," Jean replied.

Nadia brightened. Of course! He would know! She grabbed hold of Jean and headed off towards Sick Bay.

-----

"And so, that's how human reproduction occurs..." the doctor finished, closing his text book. "Are there any more questions?"

Nadia and Jean, who were sitting wide-eyed and immobile during the presentation, just shook their heads silently before slowly getting up and heading for the exit.

"Grandpa..." Nurse Icolina grumbled as the two shell shocked teens left. "Did you really have to be so... clinical?"

"What do you mean?" he asked as he put away the textbook and visual aids.

"I mean, you made it sound... unpleasant," she replied. "There was no romance to it at all."

The doctor snorted. "Like those two need any ideas in their heads. Last thing I want is to encourage them too soon. Besides, would you rather they heard about it from Grandis?"

Icolina shuddered. "Okay. Point taken."

-----

Meanwhile, just outside in the hallway, Nadia and Jean stood motionless side by side. Nadia was beginning to really, really wish they hadn't bothered to ask.

_Oh well,_ she thought,_ at least it means I'm definitely not pregnant._

She was about to let out a sigh of relief when a thought occurred to her. If Electra _was_ pregnant then that meant--

Her face started twitching again.

Jean, meanwhile, was trying to sort through his own thoughts. He tried to filter all the information through a scientific perspective but somehow it wasn't working just now.

"ARGHHH!!" Jean's thoughts were interrupted by Nadia's sudden outburst.

"Nadia, what--" he was cut off as the girl in question grabbed hold of him and pulled him into a very passionate kiss. After several seconds, Nadia finally came up for air.

"N-Nadia... What--?!" Jean stutter, his face flushed deep crimson.

"I've just had a lot of very bad images in my head," Nadia explained in a very calm, very even voice. "And _you_ are going to help me get rid of them."

She grabbed him by the hand and started pulling him along back to their room. Jean wasn't sure what was going on, but he was pretty sure it wasn't anything to complain about as he stumbled along behind her.

---

END

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_I honestly have no clue how I came up with this. I just thought at some point "How would Jean and Nadia react to Electra being pregnant?" and this was the result. There's something enjoyable about writing them into awkward situations like this though. -_

_-CCS_


End file.
